Sex Game #1

A conversation with "Activities Anonymous" has inspired me to write about sex games. No, I'm not trying to play any with him (he can be the cat...I'd rather be the mouse), but some good ideas came up that deserve at least a mention:

• "Drunken Naked Dizzy Bat Moon Bounce Slip-n-Slide Twister" - Much like I imagine this guy to be, that name is a mouthful. It is the combination of some less complex games, with safety precautions taken into account. Let's break down all the parts:
  
  -It all began with Twister, the game where multiple people twist and contort their bodies on the floor to get into different positions. Obviously, this game goes with nakedness like peanut butter goes with jelly, so then we had Naked Twister.
  
  -Naked Twister sounds like a perfectly fun game, but you play it on a giant plastic sheet, much like a Slip-n-Slide. Now, we don't want water to lubricate our sheet. We want SexTarts, KY, or your lube of choice. Hence, the dawning of the age of Naked Slip-n-Slide Twister.
  
  -Naked Slip-n-Slide Twister seems adventurous, but it might make you nervous. You made need a drink to loosen up. Of course, drinking is more effective when combined with dizzy bat, so we added bother to the game.
  
  -Now, Drunken Naked Slip-n-Slide Dizzy Bat Twister sounds fun, but completely dangerous. In order to protect yourself from harm, you'd need a crash mat or something else that would keep you from hitting the hard ground. While a crash mat is nice and soft, a moon bounce has motion. It would be almost like there wasn't gravity.
  
  -There you have it, Drunken Naked Dizzy Bat Moon Bounce Slip-n-Slide Twister...however, if you are klutzy or not very flexible, try sticking with the parts of this you know you can handle. You don't want any injuries...which brings us to the next post, so I'll be sure to post games from time to time, but we should move on. I don't want to confuse you with the details of too many games at once. The emergency rooms are already crowded enough...again, something that brings us to our next post...