Ok, so I slacked yesterday. I suck like that. Would two for today work? Just think of it like multiple blogasms! Of course, if you all would start leaving comments, my dirty mind would be able to think of enough for rolling blogasms...just saying...you know nothing beats a rolling blogasm.
Now, yesterday morning was fairly shitty. "Rocky", as it turns out, was only a one-hit wonder. Normally, that wouldn't bother me too much, but he was REALLY good...and that was at the stuff we actually did. I definitely was hoping to have the chance to f*ck his brains out sometime this week. Oh well. Moving right along.
This weekend, I'm going to visit my hometown...which actually is a big city. I'm not going to tell you where (because some of you stalker types may try to figure out who I am), but I will say that the "hometown" visit can provide decent opportunities to meet our goal for the week...Everybody Gets Laid!
Think about some of the people you are friendly with in your hometown. DO NOT sleep with your good friends (it always seems like a good idea at first, but then it just gets AWKWARD). Instead, think about the people who are on the fringe of that group. These are the people you don't ever talk to unless they come out with your friends when you are visiting your hometown. These people can be great f*ck buddies...either as a one-time thing during your current visit or as a more longterm thing every time you visit. You sorta kinda know them, so it's not like f*cking a complete stranger. Your friends must think they are at least somewhat okay, so you know they probably aren't the worst idea in the world. Plus, they are easily accessible. When you are out with your hometown friends, see which of their friends is cute (and is not dating one of your friends). Start flirting. Put the sex out there (flirt and have a filthy mind...don't straight out offer the sex unless the person really is just that dense and initiating play has not even been enough for the lightbulb to go off). Who cares if you are laying it on thick? Everyone likes to be wanted and, let's face it, you are purposely trying to be an easy lay. If you are somewhere where there is alcohol, drink. Don't get too drunk (you want to be in control), but act like you are a bit more drunk than you are. You don't want to be a fall down mess, but you want to be friendly, flirty, and easy. Also, remember, you have a certain amount of drunken immunity. Drunk people tend to have oral fixations, so just go kiss someone. Girls, if you've been flirting with a guy all night and he has been flirting back, he generally won't mind it if you press up against him, grab his junk, and start stroking. Guys, it can be a little harder with girls, but my advice would be to go somewhere that has dancing (like a club, not ballroom). If she has been flirting back, then you can feel free to either go up right behind her and press your self against her and dance. If you are already dancing, grab her, pull her close so that you are pressed together, and keep dancing. If she's been drinking, make her horny. Horny drunk girls rarely say no. Actually, in my experience (which means personal experience and my observations of friends), all of these maneuvers have over a 95% rate of return on messing around. Girls, that public over-the-clothes handjob won't stay public very long. 98% of the time, he'll be leading you off to somewhere else and it'll be "anything goes". Guys, you will need to do a bit more legwork. If you are behind her, at some point move around to her front and press up against her that way. If you started in the front, stay there. Now, once you and the girl have a good rhythm going and you are pressed so close that you are now practically one person and the breathing is getting heavier and it's getting very warm, kiss that girl! And I don't mean your usual, gentle, goodnight kiss. I mean a long, passionate, "I want to fuck the shit out of you right on this dance floor" kiss. She'll get the message. Like I said, at some point, you'll be off to somewhere else to mess around...at least in 95% of cases. I'd say that the likelihood of sex is at around 80%. Of course, if you have condoms with you and if you don't get too pushy, your chances will be better. And, yes, I said don't get too pushy! I can't even begin to count how many times I REALLY wanted to go further and further with a guy, but then he'd get too pushy about something just a few minutes before I was ready and it would be such a turn off. Then, the more the guy would keep trying and keep pushing for it, the more annoyed I'd get. Once I'm annoyed, the answer is NO. I don't care how cute you are or how much you turn me on, if you piss me off in the middle of messing around, the answer is NO. That's it. Night is over. Buh-bye. So, in nice easy terms, be nice! You make the moves, but let her think she is calling the shots about when you do what. Whisper in her ear, both sweet comments and dirty comments. Dirty comments can be a real turn on, but if there are just too many of them and if they just make you sound really crude, you won't be getting into her. End of story. Girls, you have a little more liberty with the dirty comments, but don't sound like a guy or like a truck driver...and don't mention wanting to put anything up his butt. Seriously, I've heard of idiot girls doing that. As much as a guy might want to f*ck you up the ass, he DOES NOT want you putting anything up his ass (well, 99% of guys don't). On the topic of fucking up the ass, there will be a post dedicated to that topic shortly, so I won't go into that right now.
Now, let's say that your friends do not have anyone worth your time or anyone who is single/willing, you do have another hometown option. Remember that hottie you dated way back when? Well, that hottie is the reason Facebook was invented (not really, but it does work in this case). Get back in touch with hottie ex and arrange a time to catch up. Act like you really are interested in his/her life at the moment. Do all of the little flirty things that once upon a time made you irresistable. Even if that's not you anymore, for a one night stand, who cares? The "bait and switch" works much better than the "bend and snap"! By the time your clueless ex realizes what happened, you'll have already left and be too far away for questioning...especially with caller id.
Of course, you don't need to travel anywhere if you have a local ex. The same rules apply. Just be careful not to cause an issue with any of your friends. Friends sometimes get cranky over shit that isn't any of their business. Also, be careful not to seem too interested. Don't give the impression that you want to get back together. If the ex is local, you can't say "Sorry, but I don't do long distance."
No questions this time...trying to make up for lost blog time...let's see how many I can bang out today.
Please comment and let us know how things are going...have you met your goal?
Needing a pleasurable stress relief,
Evil Temptress
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