Twinkie and I were out one night at a bar that is decorated with tons of stuffed animals (think taxidermy, not Care Bears). Somehow, and I no longer even remember how, we arrived at a morality question:
-If you were to bang one of the stuffed animals (think taxidermy), which would be the bigger sin, necrophilia or beastiality?
Now, you can go ahead and post your answers to that question in its original form, or you can continue reading about the evolution of this question...yes, questions can be both creationist and evolutionary.
After much debate and many embarassed faces of people who attempted to sputter out answers, a wise man added a new level to this question that really increased its complexity (haha...take that Bloom).
-If you were to bang a stuffed animal (think taxidermy) that had been killed and stuffed when it was a child (think kid, joey, cub, etc.), which would be the biggest sin, necrophilia, beastiality, or pedophilia?
I believe this question may have evolved even further at some point, but I do not want anyone's head to explode just yet (think cranium...not the other head). Go ahead and post your thoughts. Also, if you have an interesting way to improve the question, please tell us. Challenge us, damnit!
Gropes and kisses,
Evil Temptress
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Some points to ponder: I think the level of evil would inversely depend on the level of consent of the animal. However, being dead, there's no way to know if the dead baby animal would have wanted it or not whilst alive. Also, if one believes that the soul has left the body once it expires, the necrophilia element wouldn't be that much of a sin... it'd be like banging a piece of fruit or something else inanimate. Interesting question though...
ReplyDeleteYou bring up some interesting points. However, I have to question whether or not one can truly equate a sin with evil. It is possible to be evil without sinning or to sin without being evil. For example, lying is a sin, but honestly telling a person that you think she is ugly would be evil (and not a sin). Sinilarly, many people consider pre-marital sex to be a sin, but f*cking someone is definitely not a sin. In fact, it's a damn nice thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAs for the question at hand, I think the beastiality trumps the necrophilia and the pedophilia. A dead body is gross, but it really doesn't mind what you do to it. Until fairly recently in history, pedophilia was commonly practiced in "civilized" societies. Forty year old men would marry fifteen year old "women". While I don't agree with the practice, it really has not been viewed as a "sin" for very long. Besides, kids can object to what is happening in one way or another. Not all would feel comfortable doing so, but at least some would. Animals, however, have no way of communicating their thoughts to humans in a way that humans would understand. If an animal objects, a human would not necessarily know.
Now, if you really want to experience f*cking an animal, I know plenty of humans that I'm sure would be perfect substitutes for animals. In fact, you might be their only chance of ever getting laid.